


I will heal you (if you show me how)

by aimhtomlinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry loves reading books, Louis lives in a bookstore, M/M, Zayn owns the bookstore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-06-02 15:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6571003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimhtomlinson/pseuds/aimhtomlinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living in the bookstore of his best friend has made Louis' life different from what it used to be. He spends his days reading books and living in the stories he reads. His social life has totally faded away, but he doesn't mind. The book stories are better anyway. Or at least… That's what he thinks, until that one day when a curly haired boy shows up at the store.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fic before and most of the time I post the stuff I have written without correcting it, so mind my stupid mistakes please. Also, English is not my first language, so it'll never be perfectly written, sorry. 
> 
> I'd love to know what you think of the story though, so don't hesitate to comment or send me a tweet (@lovabiefringe (the first i is actually a capital one but okay)). I will always appreciate feedback!

It's been two months. Two long months since Louis got kicked out of the house he used to live in since he was five years old. Two months since he was stupid enough to think his parents would change their minds about people who loved the same sex if their son was 'one of them'. But he was wrong. His parents got angry and most painful; disappointed. He hasn't been able to get the look on his mother's face out of his mind. He sees it everywhere, in the mornings when he looks up in the mirror after washing his face, when he starts daydreaming (which he does a lot) and the most horrible one of them all; in his dreams. Day after day he wakes up in his own sweat, heavily panting when trying to catch his breath.

"Morning man." His best friend smiles warmly when he enters the small space Louis lives in. Louis looks up, eyes showing he's been thinking again, and gives him a small smile. "I'm going to open the shop okay? You can come down and read whenever you want." The boy runs a hand through his hair and nods. It's the same thing all over again. Every day is the same. Louis wakes up, sweating, he takes a shower and while he has breakfast Zayn will arrive to open the bookstore.

Yes, that’s right. Louis lives upstairs at the bookstore of his best friend. Louis doesn’t really mind though. He can read books all day long and the place isn’t that bad at all. In fact, Louis loves it. It’s small and he made it very cozy with the money he saved up throughout the years.

With a big sigh, Louis leaves all his thoughts behind and starts cleaning up his dishes. After that, he takes one last, and very quick, look in the mirror to make sure he doesn’t look like complete shit. Luckily he won’t risk the chance of meeting his family over here. He left Doncaster as soon as he could after visiting his grandma. The woman he has loved ever since he was a kid. He misses her more day by day, but going back is just not an option and Louis hates knowing he will probably never see his family again. Now he lives in London, upstairs at one of the most beautiful bookstores there is in this city.

Louis met Zayn when they were both in college. Zayn was studying English Literature and Louis studied for writer. He has always loved acting and is working on his first script ever since they both graduated. They had their writing classes together and before he knew it Louis was spending more time at Zayn’s dorm room than he was in his own. Zayn became one of the most important people to Louis. Especially in during this time he is very grateful to have someone like Zayn in his life. Louis wouldn't even dare to imagine where he would be without Zayn at the moment.

\---

After spending the whole morning reading his book and finally finishing it, Louis decides it’s time to make some lunch for himself and Zayn. Nothing special has happened. People walked in, some of them bought a book or two and some just sat down reading, just like Louis has been doing for most of the time. The only difference is that the people that take a seat have to buy the book they want to read and Louis is allowed to read them without buying. Although you can take a place in the reading space without actually buying a book on the day itself, but you have to own it to read it. Louis is only allowed to do it because he helps Zayn in the shop whenever he needs it though, but that’s just a small detail according to Louis since, in his opinion, Zayn could have made him buy them anyway. Which would have been very normal of course.

Just before he wants to move his chair so he can leave the long table, someone takes a seat right in the corner of his eye. He notices the person has long brown curls and a unique, but beautiful style. He is wearing a floral printed blouse, buttoned just enough so his nipples won’t show, although they are when he bends over to read. Louis also notices a scent his nose has never met before. It feels very warm to him and it makes Louis think of something fresh. He’s unable to put his finger on how it really smells to him, but it is very nice.

While standing up slowly, he looks over to the person that has sat down. It’s a boy, Louis guesses he’s younger than him, but not that much. Louis has never seen someone like this boy at the store in the two months he has lived here. Maybe he’s new? Or the boy just wanted to try a new store? There are so many different possibilities and somehow Louis really want to know the answer.

“Louis, can you help me hand over here?” He hears Zayn’s voice calling out for him. The words make him wake up from this thoughts once again today. He gives him a quick nod, looks over to the boy one last time and then makes his way to the counter to help the customers. Looks like it’s not time for lunch yet. Normally, Louis would make lunch for them both and eat his first so that when Zayn is eating his, Louis can take over at the shop.

Considering it is Saturday, it’s not that weird that Louis has to help out at the store instead of doing his daily routine of reading books. Saturday is one of the busiest days. Most people are free from work which gives them plenty of time to go to the city of London to do some shopping. Louis likes the Saturdays. It’s one of the days he feels most productive. Living at the bookstore made his life very different from what he did before. He used to spend days in his bedroom, working on a script for a play. He has been writing on it for more than a year now, but he is very insecure about his work which causes him to change everything on a weekly base.

He loves writing on the script though. It’s about a boy, who once bumped into someone on the streets. The boy never managed to get that someone out of his head and decides to search for him. It sounds so basic, but Louis managed to make it special with all the things that have happened to the boy, to the person he is looking for and while the boy is looking for that someone. So far, he is pretty content with the scenes he has finished. Although he has a massive writers block at the moment, which is the most annoying thing if you ask him. He really wants to continue, but there’s nothing that gives him the inspiration for it.

Back to the bookstore, where Louis is kindly wrapping a paper around the books he sells to the customers. “Oh this one is lovely!” Louis exclaims as he takes the book from a young lady. “Really?” “Absolutely, it’s so well written and the plot is just so lovely. Everything will come together like a puzzle as soon as you finish it.” He tells her with a bright smile.

Louis loves books. Ever since he could read he has been spending his spare time reading books. It makes him calm and gives him a lot of inspiration to write stories himself. He also loves imagining himself being the main character of the stories, it brings him to a whole other world. A world he sometimes wished to be in forever.

“Thank you Louis, have a nice day.” The girl smiles at him as she takes the book back. “No problem at all love, tell me what you think of it when you’ve finished it. You know where to find me.” He gives her a short wave and then turns to the other customer waiting for his attention. Most people know Louis by now since Louis always talks with the people he helps. Louis thinks it's a nice way of keeping the customer content and motivated to come back.

\---

The whole afternoon goes like this and Louis notices the curly haired boy is still at the table reading his book. Louis wonders what he is reading, since the book must be very good if he's still reading after all those hours. It could be Louis’ mind of course, thinking that a book must be good when you are spending the whole afternoon reading it, but it sounds very logic to him. He has been thinking about asking the boy about the book, or maybe making a conversation, but he is way too insecure to actually make a move.

Louis is upstairs cooking dinner for himself and Zayn at the moment while Zayn is asking the customers to leave the store since it's time to close the doors for today. Although Zayn has his own house, and girlfriend, he always stays for dinner when it’s Saturday. Most of the time it’s because he has to do some other work for the store on Saturdays so it’s easier for him to stay for dinner. Louis doesn’t mind, in fact; he likes it. Sometimes it can be very lonely at his space upstairs.

“I saw you looking at that new customer today, he looks good doesn’t he?” He hears Zayn’s voice behind him. “Which customer?” Louis decides to play it dumb. He doesn’t even know the curly lad and probably never will, so he shouldn’t be talking about him with Zayn. “The one that made you leave earth for a few seconds when I needed you at the counter.” Zayn says, rolling his eyes. “Oh that one, well I was just shocked by his style, nothing more.” He shrugs. 

Only wasn’t that the case at all. Louis hasn’t been able to get the boy out of his mind ever since he saw him taking a seat at the table. Everything looked so delicate about the boy. His lips were parted a little, his eyelashes were slightly curled, and then his hair that looked as soft as the pillow he sleeps on at night. He’s been thinking about going through the curls with his small hands, feeling the soft hair between his fingers.

Maybe the boy will visit the bookstore again. And maybe Louis will try to have a conversation with him. And maybe, just maybe, Louis is excited for when that moment will happen.


	2. Two

It’s been a few days since Louis saw the curly boy for the first time. He’s been thinking of him constantly, hoping he’d show up again. Sadly he didn’t, but Louis didn’t lose his hope, yet. Zayn has noticed Louis is very off and looking around a lot to see if he could find the boy he doesn’t even know the name of. And let’s just say Zayn made sure Louis got teased about it enough to blush as if he was a tomato. And he didn't enjoy it at all. 

Louis has never felt like this about a person he saw before. Sometimes he’d think that someone was good looking, but he never experienced not being able to get the person out of his head. However, Louis doesn’t think it’s something important. He’s getting older and things are changing, it’s just part of the plan. He thinks. What else would it be right? 

Today is Thursday and the shop is almost closing. Louis has been helping out a lot today. Normally Thursdays aren’t that busy, but a good day is never wrong. Especially not when having a bookshop. Many people nowadays read on those e-book things. Louis doesn’t understand why people would use that kind of stuff to read, he definitely prefers having a physical copy in his hands. Not that he is judging the people though, as long as people read Louis is happy. 

Reading is very important to Louis and he’s a full supporter of all projects to make people read again. Especially younger people, who only read on the internet. Sometimes, Louis thinks that people don’t know how to read a book. Teachers always make people read, but it’d be so much better if teachers only motivated them. He understands that it’s important to read for your education, but there is such a big difference between telling someone ‘you must read this’ and motivating someone to explore the story. Louis does know he can't do anything about it though, but whenever he gets the chance, he tries to motivate people just a little bit more to read.

“And have a lovely day.” Louis smiles at the person he just helped. He loves talking with the people that are on the other side of the counter. Most of the time Louis has read the books he’s selling, which makes him excited and causes him to tell small things about the book to make the customer curious about it. Zayn once told him that he is a great person for selling things, Louis knows what to tell and what to leave behind. ‘A real salesman’ Zayn said. He isn't quite sure yet whether to believe him or not.

“Time to close the shop, would you mind counting the cash Lou?” Zayn asks him when he comes back from doing some 'behind the scenes' business. Louis doesn’t understand the whole thing behind running a shop and he’s not that interested to know either. He’ll just stick with selling the books. “Yes of co-” “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” A soft and deep voice enters the shop. Louis almost gives himself a whiplash because of the speed he lifts his head up.

It’s him. It’s the boy he’s been waiting for. His hair is a little bit messy, probably because of the weather outside, and there’s this bright red blush on his cheeks. It’s adorable, according to Louis. “Can I help you?” Zayn asks the boy with a small frown. “Uh yes, I wanted to buy a book, but my classes ran out so I had to run to the shop to make it in time. Don’t know if I am though… Can I still get it? I promise I’ll be quick.” He tells Zayn while still panting a little. Louis looks away. That’s so… cute? Louis doesn’t know the word for it, but he thinks it’s lovely that the boy took a run for a book. You don’t see many people doing things like that nowadays.  
   
Zayn gives the boy a nod and smiles while opening the door a bit more for him so he can enter. “Thank you so much.” The boy sighs out. Louis starts counting the cash so he will be finished earlier. He is very hungry and can’t wait to run upstairs and warm his meal. Sadly Louis isn’t able to count the cash at all, which causes him to give up after trying it for the third time. His mind keeps forcing him to look up and follow the curly haired boy with every step he takes, but Louis manages to keep his eyes focused on the cash he's supposed to count. 

Footsteps come closer and closer and Louis notices his heart is going faster and faster every time he hears the sound getting more nearby. For the first time he will see the eyes he saw from a distance. He will be able to see the face he’s been thinking of constantly. Is this some kind of dream? Louis wants to pinch himself, just to make sure, but he will look like a total idiot in front o- wait, he doesn’t even know the boy his name? Oh this is just so embarrassing. 

Louis wants to slap himself. He’s such an idiot. What was he even thinking? “Hey.” He hears the voice way sooner than expected. So this mystery boy really knew which book he wanted. “Uh yeah hi," Louis starts greeting the boy, "so, this one?” he mumbles pretty awkward as he takes the book in his hands. What is he even doing? He feels like a whole other person. “Yes please.” His voice is so lovely, it makes Louis feel all warm inside. Louis nods a few times, enters the price on the cash desk and then wraps a paper around the book, making sure it's done even more neat than he usually does. “That’d be £9.45 then please.” He tells the boy with a small smile. 

After giving back the change, Louis also hands him the book and receipt. “Have a nice day.” He tells the boy as he takes the book from him. “Same goes out to you.” The boy smiles at him. Louis watches the boy leaving the store with the most stupid smile ever on his face. This boy does something with him, but he has no idea what it is. Also, the walks so smoothly, how does he even do that? Probably because of his long legs, Louis thinks.

\---

“Earth to Louis. Hey man, wake up. How much cash?” He hears Zayn’s voice somewhere in his head. With the biggest frown in the world Louis looks up at his best friend. “Oh uh, don’t know.” He tells him honestly. "Seriously Louis," he sighs, 'just go and check if all books are standing on the right shelves then please.” he continues while shaking his head. With blushes as red as tomatoes Louis does what he has been told. 

What’s going on with him? The boy’s voice keeps going through his mind. It was such a lovely sound which made his ears feel all warm. The boy looked so soft and the urge to run his hands through his hair came back as soon as he saw the soft curls bouncing on his shoulders. The lovely scent flew back in his nose when the boy was standing in front of him. He was still unable to give the scent a name, but it was nice to smell it again. Maybe a little bit too nice.

\---

That evening Louis lies in bed, thinking about everything that has happened that day. He has to get to know this boy. The wants to know more about him. And not only about how he looks and how he smells, but really more. He wants to know what the boy is like, what his interests are and what he does outside of his reading life. Louis just wants to know him, the boy behind the smile.  
While closing his eyes, he tries to remember the title of the book the boy bought. He held it in his hands, he scanned the words with his eyes. He has to remember. Woman. Louis takes a big sigh and tries a bit harder, only a title wouldn’t help. Or maybe it would. Would it? No it won’t... Zayn has all books ordered by authors, so he has to remember it.

Charles Bukowski. That’s is. Woman by Charles Bukowski. 

Tomorrow he will look for the book and read until his eyes are dry. He will remember every single sentence and will write down small notes that will make him think of the boy. It may sound creepy, since he could have grown some balls and just talk to the boy.

But Louis believes that you will get to know a person by looking at the things someone reads. It will show a side of them that’s not always shown. 

And Louis would love to know that side of the curly haired boy, with the beautiful green eyes and a smile as soft as the pillow under his head.

And sometimes, that side is all you need to know.


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang, this chapter took me ages to write. College has been killing me and I kind of abandoned this fic while I had so many ideas. Well, Summer break is just around the corner so I will try to write faster. // This chapter is unedited.

As Louis had planned, he sat down at the long table first thing in the morning, the book in his hands. Zayn had given him a notepad so that he didn’t have to go to another shop for one first. “Let’s see what you can tell me.” He mumbles as he opens the book. He doesn’t know what to expect from the story and especially not what he will discover from the boy. 

Also, there is something that’s been on his mind ever since he closed his eyes yesterday. What would his age be? Louis knows the boy is younger, well he guessed the boy is younger. But… The boy isn’t that young, since he has incredibly long legs and this beautiful low voice Louis could listen to for ages. There wasn’t that much facial hair visible though, but the boy could have chosen to shave of course so that doesn’t says that much either. Louis is so eager to know more about the boy, things he would never figure out through books. 

\---

Louis has been reading the whole morning and afternoon. So far he has a few things written down. The boy likes good stories, that’s something he is sure of already. It was such a quiet day at the bookshop and at the moment Louis is very grateful for that. Otherwise he wouldn’t have read that much as he has done now.   
“Closing time. You can take the book upstairs if you want.” Zayn smiles as he takes a seat in front of Louis. He looks up from drawing some hearts on an empty page in the notebook and gives him a thankful smile. “But, you have to come along tonight and not hide upstairs to spend the whole evening reading like you usually do.” He adds determined. Louis sighs and nods as he stands up from his seat.

Since it is Friday Louis has to come over to Zayn’s place and have dinner with him. After that, they will go to the cinemas or to a club. They always decide when they’re eating. Louis brings the book upstairs and changes into the clothes he has hung over a chair next to his bed. When he’s finished getting dressed and also making himself looking presentable again, he walks down the stairs and helps Zayn cleaning up the last things. They leave the bookstore while talking about college. They miss it sometimes, a lot. Things used to be very easy back then and if Louis has the opportunity to go back in time; he would.   
Louis misses his family. He misses them so much. Sometimes he lays in bed and just wants to run back to the place he once called home. Now he feels lost. There is no place called home anymore and he feels almost desperate to have it back. Even though he likes his small place, it doesn’t give him the feelings he used to have back in Doncaster and it makes him feel homesick. 

His sisters are the most important thing he has in life, but now that he isn’t able to contact them anymore, he feels empty. No piggyback rides around the house, not having make-up smeared all over his face because his little sister wants to experiment, not hearing the laughs of the baby-twins anymore. It makes him sick to his stomach, knowing the small moments of happiness he used to have, won’t be there anymore for God only knows how long.   
   
You could pretty much say Louis is a family man, a people’s person. He loves being around others and he enjoys it when he can socialize with them. Louis has always been like this, always been the goofy one, the one that broke the silence and he doesn’t mind. Sometimes it can come in a little bit unhandy, but most of the time he is very glad he has a personality like this. 

“Woah Lou, slow down. I need you longer than today mate.” With a shocked look on his face, Louis turns to Zayn. He looks worried and has a firm grip on his upper arm. “What were you thinking about? You didn’t answer me for a good three minutes and you almost killed yourself by crossing the road while not even taking a split second to look up.” Louis frowns. Oh, really? He doesn’t remember zoning out. “Your sisters again?” Zayn asks with a sad look on his face.   
While biting his lip, Louis looks away. Zayn knows him too well. “You will have them back one day okay? They love you and you love them. It will only take some time and maybe more than you would want to, but they will be back one day.” He reassures him with a soft smile. This is a side Louis doesn’t see that often. People think Zayn is kind of a bad boy, which is a little bit weird to Louis since he owns a book store. Anyway, Zayn isn’t a man of showing his emotions a lot, but when he does, Louis feels very grateful to have someone like Zayn in his life.

After a big sigh, Louis nods. They change the subject into something else and walk their way to Zayn’s house. His girlfriend opens the door with a warm smile and opens her arms for Louis to step into them. “Hello you.” He greets her as he gives her a hug. “Hello loves, come in. Dinner’s almost ready.”   
As soon as the words ‘dinner’ find their way in Louis’ ear canals his stomach starts to make weird noises. With a small chuckle, he lets go of her and makes his way to the living room. It’s nice to be in a house sometimes. Zayn’s house is very different from what Louis likes though, they have this graffiti wall which Zayn spray-painted himself, but it looks cool. 

Louis would love to have a small house for himself, but since he isn’t able to finish a good script, he won’t be able to make any money, sadly. He doesn’t want to give up on doing the thing he loves most though and that’s where his gratefulness for Zayn comes back again. Without Zayn Louis would most likely live under a bridge or somewhere else and he wouldn’t be able to work on the things he has to work on.  
“Want a cuppa or something else?” Zayn asks them as they walk their way to the kitchen. Louis always drinks tea, well not always, but most of the time he does. He doesn’t even mind drinking a cuppa while having dinner, but today is just one of these days where he doesn’t feel like it. “Some water will do.” He says with a small smile as he takes a seat at the table. 

Zayn’s kitchen is huge. Well, to Louis it is. His old house wasn’t that big too, so he isn’t really used to be in a bigger house than the average ones. He lets out a small sigh and rests his head on the table. The boy isn’t going out of his head and it doesn’t matter how hard Louis tried, within only three seconds; he’s back. Everything looked just so perfect about the boy and it makes Louis want to touch and hold the boy forever. 

“Louis here is in love.” Zayn says with a grin to his girlfriend. While frowning, Louis looks up. “I’m not.” He mumbles, cheeks as red as two tomatoes. “Aren’t you?” Zayn keeps teasing him. As stubborn as he is, he shakes his head. He can’t be in love with someone he doesn’t even know the name of. That’s not possible right? It’s probably just a phase of finding someone very attractive.

Because this boy is really attractive and Louis just wished he knew more about the absolutely stunning boy with the softest looking smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I am not naming Zayn's girlfriend because I'm not in the mood for people putting down the person I will pick, feel free to change 'girlfriend' in the name you would like to see there.


End file.
